astrophysics will never be my closest friend

"i find no comfort in what my mind can't comprehend"

although matthew is talking about astrophysics, that sentence pretty much sums up my feelings toward human relations, and their sometimes unbelievably complex nature. not saying that astrophysics were any less complicated, but at the very least there's some observable rules of consistency. human relationships lack all that and it confuses me more than i can tolerate.

people seem to expect things of me that i am neither capable nor willing to do. no matter how hard i try to make it clear that i refuse to make any promises, and that people will at some point find me unreliable, i still get yelled at for being just that. would you please just realize that it's not my freaking problem if you have issues with yourselves? i don't remember giving birth to any kids, so i won't be your freaking mother either. thanks.

you're my satellite, you're riding with me tonight

i've recently learned to like my own company again. i actually like living inside my head, having conversations with myself, being able to say whatever the hell i want without having to listen to objections. for god's sake life shouldn't be a courtroom. i don't need to be judged all the time.

i like closing my eyes and traveling to faraway places, i like swaying to the music without caring whether someone is looking, i like sitting in the bus looking out of the window smiling just because life feels so good. and then i see the people. now there's something that i don't particularly like. i try not to care too much though. it's just me and my music, my boring science facts and alternative realities.

i love this song. and i really need to update more often.