NOSTALGIA

SUCKS!

i hate it. and i'm sure i'm not the only one. i mean, i understand that thinking about stuff you did last summer or three years ago brings back good memories and it usually makes you happy, right? but it sure doesn't make me happy. not one freaking bit! i feel sad because good things never last forever, or if they do, they change. i like change, totally. change is great! but i guess i'm more of the "look forward, not back"-type anyway.

i don't know why i tortured myself again and wasted 30 minutes of my life feeling sad about happy things. doesn't even make sense lol. well, now i can at least laugh at myself if nothing else.

well, enough of that crap and on to some more nonsense!

the location of my angsty ass atm is the bed of a "no-frills" hotel in the heart of the lovely "city" of joensuu. it's actually not that bad here, joensuu is so wintery and beautiful with it's foggy everflowing river, the icicles hanging from the trees, and the little marketplace in the middle of everything. i'm not sure if i like this place more in the winter or in the summer, i have so many good childhood memories of both seasons here! and i really love north karelian people, they're so social, friendly, open, and so down to earth! most people in helsinki are just so shallow and cold, but hopefully that situation is improving!

i suddenly ran out of things to say even though i thought i had more stuff in mind i needed to let out. but i guess i don't, so i'll sneak outside to smoke a cig, grab something to eat from the vending machine downstairs and then get some SLEEP so i won't be a total zombie tomorrow at the funeral! (though i already know i'm going to look like a mixture of a crack whore, a butchy lezzie and an idiot in my white blouse, blazer, black jeans and high heels......)

so good night! over and out